Dealing with a teenage son

First of all let me just set the record straight that non of my kids are teenagers yet. However recently my younger brother moved in with me and these past few days, what a ride!!!!!! I am at least twenty (20) years older, married quite early, left my family in Port-Harcourt and moved to Lagos when he was about sevenish (7) so we never really developed a deep brother/sister relationship.

So come the 16th of October am staring at this young man whose basic character composition am still trying to figure out giving me an attitude simply because I asked him to do the dishes. Lets get it straight, at my house I don't have house maids catering to my every whims, so I expect everyone to chip in and do their bit of house chores but this guy thinks that just because he wears pants, that exempts him from chores bordered within the kitchen walls. You can bet your girl made it clear to him that ain't happening so get it together dude.

My point is that quite often while dealing with teens, in the bid to remain your child's best friend you deploy your negotiation skills with the hope that the teen would be persuaded to reason within your lines.  Victory may eventually be realized with persistence several days or weeks down the line, if they do not wear you out first (such that you simply let him/her have their way). No those are not the times I am referring to oh no. 

I am discussing those times when you as the parent/guardian has to put that feet down and say "look pal this is how its going to be in this house so deal with it". Times when you set the rules that study time does not include nodding your head to the track playing on your earpiece, or that chores are responsibilities that have to be executed diligently. Boundaries must be set and boundaries must be kept to build a strong character and sense of purpose. A progressive and healthy lifestyle (self-discipline, good hygiene, moderation,self-control etc.) should be encouraged and negative habits should be condemned with clearly stated penalties for defaulters. 

Remember the teenage years are molding years,a foundation laid wrong would require greater efforts to break down, rebuild and remould.