Paranoid

I was paranoid, could this be true I wondered. It was 4.30am quite early in the morning, hadn't been able to sleep.
Tried to fall asleep a few times but woke up soon afterwards. My heart is beating so fast, I get up and walk over to the toilet, I need to clear my head.
I return back to bed, still can't sleep. After all these years I wonder why I let myself get worked up over this?
I get up again and move to exit the bedroom door, my heart still beating fast. Into the hallway and down the stairs, I need to clear my head.
As I step away from the flight of stairs, I glance into the parlor and there it lay quietly, slender and black at the corner of the center table.
I know I shouldn't but I cant help myself, I didn't believe my heart could beat any faster but it did, I take short breathes as I feel my chest constrict ever so slightly.


Like one in a daze I find myself in the parlor and over at the table, I bend to slowly pick it up.
What exactly am I looking for? I have no idea but something has got to be here.
I quickly work my way through it, Call history- no! nothing strikes a chord, SMS- nothing, Whatsapp- nothing, BBM- nothing, Emails- nothing, and then Photos. 
My heart skips a beat, I see her picture right next to mine and the kids, and I know so it is true.


What am I going to do?............................JCOG