Dear Girlfriend,
Even though the bible condemns our relationship and calls us fornicators, we just can't help our weakness, cause your presence in our lives remain a constant source of joy. Your skills on and off the
Of course we know the cost of a meal at any fast food, fees associated with hiring a cleaner and the available laundry/dry-cleaning rates, so your vast attention is deeply cherished.
Due to our huge, insatiable appetite, we tend to have two or more of you in our lives, but don't let that disturb you, just keep doing what you know how to do best.
Even when we are egoistic and pick fights with you especially during holiday seasons, please forgive our excesses, the truth is either we are broke and too proud to let you know, or something/someone else recently captured our short attention span, or we are being mindful of outside competition for your attention, especially from those so called married men.
Really, what could we do without you, God willingly in the not too distant future, we would pop the question and make this deal permanent.
Lovingly Yours,
Boyfriend.
Dear Wife,
No one can deny the sacrifices you put into building the home, raising the kids and catering to my needs, even to the detriment of your aspirations. I write this letter, to let you know that your efforts are deeply appreciated, and if no one sees your efforts, your God in heaven who sees in secret would definitely reward you.
Though pride may sometimes get in the way of my decision making process, don't be fooled cause like a little child, i love being pampered and fed, food and all. Lead me not into temptation, but freely give unto me whenever i ask for it. Forgive me when i forget your birthday and our anniversary, its just that the children's school fees have yet to be paid.
Ignore the occasional text messaging from those Jezebels, they are just trouble makers, as for my blackberry that is off limits, for peace to reign please don't even touch it, also note that the special balloons you found in my wallet/bag are actually souvenirs distributed for marketing purposes, and though my words or actions may sometimes hint at infidelity, always remember that out of all the beautiful and willingly ladies out there, i chose you to be the mother of my kids, so believe me when i say, you are more than special.
My irreplaceable jewel, embrace your unique characteristic, cater to the home while maintaining your femininity (neat and desirable) and cherish our relationship always, never doubting that "YOU ARE STILL THE ONE".
Faithfully Yours,
Husband.
Dear Concubine,
How are you, hope you are fine, its been a while since we last spoke, she(my wife) finally traveled yesterday, so am able to write you.
Though the bible and the law condemns our union, and stronger ones amongst us have been brought to their knees because of you
Having you in my life unexplainably reduces my blood pressure, when the tension at home becomes unbearable you soot my nerves, and when am out of town, bored, lonely and in need of company, you are always readily available to rock me to sleep... if you know what i mean.
Like the forbidden fruit that cost Adam a life of leisure in the Garden of Eden, your presence in my life cost me a fortune in recharge cards, hotel bills, transport fare, chop money, school fees and even house rent.
Not to talk of the fear of STDs, or of being caught.
Undercover lover, forgive me when i don't pick up your call or when am rude to you on the phone, its only a front because someone is listening, bear with me when i insist on no text messages, i don't want to be caught by prying eyes and start World War IV.
However I remain loyal as long as your services remain constant.
Best Regards,
Man friend/Sugar daddy/Aristo/Mugu
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