Feels strange sitting down in church haven't done that in at least two years.
Mixed feelings run through me, shame, disappointment, anger, failure and pain but hope and peace comes knocking and I know am going to be okay.
Yes let's see when the opportunity to serve is taken away if the joy of salvation will remain, I have to remember I failed the first test must not fail this one. It is your work Lord and if you have destined that I let it be,then it must be for my spiritual growth and I must use it wisely, not grudgingly not in sorrow.
I sense eyes following me do not give her the basket, she cannot take the offering, I hear a voice say. I have to let them know i owe them that much.
The service is brought to a close, people make their way to the back of the church to assess the door. I ask one of my babies I carried on my lap, will you pray with me? He nods his head in affirmative. I take his hands in mine and begin to pray. I pray that the Lord preserve the life of this little one.
Amen he echoes and I lift up my head, I feel better, lighter. Yes I made it through day one, I begin to truly believe that it's going to be ok.
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